"Poetry is as precise a thing as geometry"
- Gustave Flaubert


Aquamemorium

All the children were screaming, shrill shrieks skimming the waves

Chlorine stung my eyes reducing everything to an explosion of colors with no boarders intermingling freely,
water clouded my ears sounds became distorted they were a world away now, chemicals flooded my mouth.

In the blink of an eye the life giver became the life taker.

The worst feeling ever is to die surrounded by potential savors
though they are all to preoccupied with not being tagged by Marco.

I was all alone in a sea filled with kids

Sore legs propelled me from the ocean floor being freed from the waters
deathly grip, only to be pulled back. I never hated gravity more.

Where are my pool shoes?

My feet hurt.

CRYSTALLE HUTCHINS
+very descriptive of how physical feelings connected to emotions
+love the ending "my feet hurt"
?Second stanza can be more concise, get to the point faster



All the children were screaming, shrill shrieks skimming the waves

In the blink of an eye the life giver became the life taker.

The worst feeling ever is to die surrounded by potential savors
though they are all to preoccupied with not being tagged by Marco.

I was all alone in a sea filled with kids

Sore legs propelled me from the ocean floor being freed from the waters
deathly grip, only to be pulled back. I never hated gravity more.

Where are my pool shoes?

My feet hurt.






He wasn't convinced anymore that she had built the sun in her shed for it to brighten his days.
Don't tell me that surgeons can save a life when day after day I watch more of her mind cascade away.
He
Was a broken branch grafted on to a different family tree
Adopted
He 15 when he realized he was left alone and
A midxe concoction of poison
To himself and to others
Cupid came and confiscated his lifeboat away from him
Left him stranded on an island of his own sorrow free to poison the non existant friends he thought he had
But
"The vastness of our true identities"
Is S P A C E for the flowers to grow.
So he turned feces to fertilizer and the Island to his land.
His sorrow to silk

And his pain to pleasure.





I Was Raised by Gods


There was no doubt in my mind that the gods would come.

I prayed to them in the morning

And as sure as the sun rising, they came
Lifting me to breath taking heights
They lived above the clouds, to a place where I couldn't see their faces in the darkness.
They were infatuated with me, a lowly mortal. Unconditional love for a thing that would never understand them
They knew tolerance.

I prayed to them in the afternoon

When they walked about their kingdom in loud booming steps
I followed.
How is it that two legs are faster than four?
I wanted to keep up.
so I prayed
And all at once I was ascending
Til I lay cradled in the arms of a giant.
They spoke a foreign tongue their face shrouded
One spoke it as if he spat metal, his noises clashing against my eardrum
The other spoke with the sharpness of an arrow, piercing my heart, my soul
I tried to mimic these sounds, but my tongue could not keep up

I prayed to them in the evening

When the gods turned cruel and confined me to a pit
I prayed and prayed
for in this walled existence
the monsters that came out at night were free to haunt me
That is, until the gods came, chasing the monsters away with light
Then they would lift me, to unspoken heights, where we would be face to face
And it's that night in the light I realized
Those gods looked just like me.